How you say no can make a difference.

Last week we discussed five reasons to say no, but how do you actually say “no” without hurting someone’s feelings or causing drama? 

Read on…

First think about who you are saying no to? The level of importance of the  person you are turning down will impact how you communicate the news of saying no. 

If the person is a close relative or friend, a phone call versus a text may be more appropriate. Let them know you cannot attend the event. If you want to give a reason feel free to do so; however, do not feel obligated to give a reason.

Secondly, the delivery of any message is key. After you have thought about the level of importance of the person, decide if a text will do. The delivery should always be respectful and kind regardless of who you are speaking to.

 If you are sending a text it can read: “Hi, Susie, I hope you are well today. Unfortunately, I will not be able to attend your event on Saturday.” This is very clear and straight to the point.

Thirdly, the timing is very important. Are you sending this message while you or the receiver is at work? Is this a stressful time for yourself or the other person? Even a text asking if now is a good time is thoughtful and considerate. 

Fourth, examine how you feel. Do a self-awareness check. Are you having a good or bad day? It is human nature to react based on our feelings, but we know this can lead to unpleasant reactions. 

If you are not in a good space, don’t respond. Let the person know you will think about it and get back to them within a desired timeframe.

Lastly, take time and think about what you want. Do you want to attend the event or to do the task? Be honest with yourself; this will help you to be honest in your response. Let the person know if you are not interested. For example, I get invited to attend many events. I let the person know I will look at my calendar and get back to them.

I never make a decision on the spot. I let them know I will reach out to them later in the week and take my time to review the information. Then I send a text or call letting them know if I can attend or not. 

These are 5 ways of how to say NO. Think about the person you are speaking to and how you can deliver the message. Remember timing and self-evaluation of how you feel can make or break the delivery. Also, never make a decision on the spot. Think about it, and let them know. 

Do you have other ways to say no? Please share…

Keep winning and creating harmony in your life.

Marla J. Albertie

Your Life Harmonizing Strategist